For my very first reviews, let's put on our 3-D glasses and dive into HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON and CLASH OF THE TITANS, shall we?
Loved it.
Whaddya mean, that's not enough? Ohhhh-kayyy.
It's about a small viking village located on an island, where there be dragons. The dragons raid the town periodically, and the whole culture is basically about killing the dragons (and re-building the town- a nice, smart little joke in the opening.) Our hero, Hiccup (everyone has strange names in the town) (well, ALMOST everyone- our leading lady is named Astrid- but, then again, she's SUPPOSED to be almost perfect)) is the typical movie "strange" kid- smart, funny, not athletic, and a disappointment to his father, the greatest dragon-slayer of all. Hiccup manages to bring down a dragon, although no one believes him- there's a suggestion that he's said that this happened before- but finds he can't kill the beast. Instead he befriends it, names it Toothless, and helps it- Toothless is injured and can't fly straight. Toothless in turn helps him, he gets the girl, and all sorts of great things happen. IN 3-D!
The story is a bit of a cliche, but it's told well-it's based on a children's book, but apparently threw out most everything except the title and the character names. I loved the scenes of the two types of training going on simultaneously- Hiccup training Toothless, but also being trained to kill dragons. The characters are all interesting- Hiccup's "classmates" are all distinct types, but none are overbearing or annoying- and I particularly loved Hiccup's father, voiced by Gerard Butler, and his employer/teacher, voiced by Craig Ferguson. (For some reason, Viking adults have Scots accents, but the children are all American- hmmmm.)
This...is NOT.....SPARTA!The best parts of the movie are the dragons. there are several types, not all of which we see. They are all visually interesting, and quite funny- but can be scary, particularly the type that LIGHTS THEMSELVES ON FIRE! The main dragon, Toothless, looks great and impressive in flight, but acts like a combination of a horse and a dog on land. His head appears to have been designed to resemble a muppet- in fact, he keeps just sort of popping his head into frame behind things, like a muppet. In any case, it works, and he's quite endearing.
Who's my little muppet-head? YOU ARE!
The other great thing is the 3-D! It's used really well in this, almost like in AVATAR- there's nothing really done for effect, it just makes the world (as cartoony as it is) seem more real. And in the flying and, especially, the climatic action sequence, it really draws you in- there are some stunning visuals!
RECOMMENDATION- See it. In the theater. In 3-D!!!
And now, our second feature-
CLASH OF THE TITANS!
IN 3-D!!!!!!
Not Cloverfield 2
Look, let's just say it- it isn't very good. It takes itself VERY seriously- even the throwaway joke with the clockwork owl from the original CotT doesn't get a laugh (well, I laughed a little, but no one else did- maybe people don't REALLY remeber the original?). There's no sense of fun from almost anyone- it seems like they were determined to make a GOOD movie.
The story has little to do with the campy-yet-beloved (well, by me, at least) (and the writer of the Broadway musical XANADU) is about Perseus (Sam Worthington of AVATAR, with his native Australian accent), son of Zeus (but he doesn't know it). Mankind (well, one city) is tired of the gods lording all over them (get it- Gods? Lording? 
Nowhere near as over-the-top as costumes and make-up would suggest.
Which would be fine, but the script- how should I put this- SUCKS! I don't mind that they changed around some mythological facts (there's a phrase you don't see every day) but there's no rhyme or reason to it. They have a bunch of magic guys who look like they're made of petrified wood show up, wearing vaguely Arabian-style gear, and call them Djinn. They visit 3 witches who share an eye,(which is from the original myth) but they call them the Norns (who are from Norse mythology). Medusa is in the underworld, for some reason. Even though the whole point of Perseus involvement in this is to get at Hades (according to the movie)no one suggests that "going to the underworld" might be a BAD IDEA! The two foreign guys give Perseus a shield they make form the scale of a giant scorpion- it's stronger and lighter than steel. Great. It also suddenly has a reflective surface on the inside, just because it needs to to fight Medusa.
Not able to enjoy the 3-D at all.
I could go on, but- hey, what did I like? Well, Mads Mikkelson (love the name!) and Liam Cunnigham, who plays an old soldier who get to make all the cranky, dry comments, are both funny and good- although they quite suddenly realized, obviously, that they had nothing more to do with Cunningham's character and he's given a very sudden, almost off-screen death. I hate the movie for that, too. (Mads does well, though.)
A note to screenwriters- you may think killing off a likable, interesting character suddenly will shock the audience and keep them interested. And it can- IF IT'S DONE WELL! Otherwise, you're just pissin' me off. (I'm looking at you, screenwriter of 2012, whoever you are!)
RECOMMENDATION- Don't see it. If you're going to see it (it has some OK action scenes and special effects, if that's all you're looking for) DON'T waste your money on 3-D.
And remember, recycle your 3-D glasses as you leave the blog.
AND HAVE FUN!
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